Precision and Concision Decisions

Our jobs as writers is to be as close to the exact idea we mean as we can and to state what we mean as clearly and as formally as is required.

Your challenge as a writer is to make the language as simple as it can be, while also making the words chosen as effective in providing a clear and powerful message.

For example, there is a difference between "He cut her" and "He sliced her stomach open." Which is more effective in giving the reader a clear image?


Rules for Writers already gives some pretty valid and thorough advice, so let's just go through those suggestions, and ask any questions along the way:


1. Look for and cut any redundant word or phrases (156).

2. Look for a cluster of words in which you repeat a phrase. Sometimes, it is helpful to replace the repetition with a synonym or synonymous phrase (example 2, 157), and sometimes it is good to look for a way to cut down the sentence structure by eliminating words and/or punctuation (example 1, 157).

3. The implied phrases are a big issue, especially those "I..." phrases that show up in 3rd person analysis. Yes, you are the writer, so your "I..." is in each sentence you write on the subject. Cut these filler phrases that distract from the true subject.

4. Make a simpler sentence structure. Look for overly conjugated verb phrases (had been sleeping=slept; had thought long and hard=pondered) and replace them with either the simple present/past or with a stronger verb. (Remember that verb list we reviewed? Use it!)

5. Always look for phrases and words to cut away from phrases. Read the sentence over and over without those words, and cut the ones that don't screw up the clarity (159).


Standard Academic Language:

1. Avoid jargon in non-specialized course essays.

2. Avoid pretentious words and phrases that have a replacement phrase. If she died, she died. You don't have to fill the page with "She went to a better place" or "Her soul flew off to that heavenly light" or sometime that distracts from the point of the essay.

• Don't get overly creative with single sentences and single phrases. Think of the PURPOSE of your essay. Unless you are writing a piece of narrative or are exemplifying something that a character/person might say: AVOID mellifluous prose!

3. Avoid slang phrases, dialects, regionalisms, and any cliches. We know what they generally mean, or we don't. Either way, such language is not meant for most academic essays--especially when analyzing academic and nationally prestigious authors' works.

4. Avoid sexist language or sexist perspectives. Look for places in which you find yourself assuming gender roles--and try not to use those words. Instead, use the subject itself, perhaps with an appropriate adjective, to avoid monotony.

• Smith postulates
• The postal worker
• John Gardner's The Art of Fiction